Balance Beam- Francis Chan

Why NOT me?

I'm writing this to be an encouragement and help to those who may be struggling. This is not to say that I have it all together or figured out, but these are some insights I have gleaned through my experiences over the years. 


Many times as Christians we tend to question God when we face trials and difficulties. We become weary, worn down, and are ready to throw in the towel. We might ask Him,


"Don't you love me?" 

"How can a loving God allow such a terrible thing to happen?"

"Why me, Lord?"  


It may be hard for us to think of God as loving and caring when He "allowed" the pain. However, we need to step back and remind ourselves what is true. 

"Don't you love me?" 

Yes, He does. God loves His children immensely. Picture the most beautiful example of love we have on this earth whether it be a parent's love for a child or a husband's or wife's love for a spouse, and that does not even begin to scratch the surface of His love. We cannot fathom it in our human, finite minds. He is love, so there is no possible way anything He does can be anything other than love. Go to the Bible, write down every verse that describes His love for His children, and focus upon those when filled with doubt and despair.

Also, His promises are always true. As with love, He is truth.

"God never forgets anything He promises. That's right...never. God's agenda continue to unfold right on schedule, even when there is not a shred of evidence that He remembers. Even when the most extreme events transpire and 'life just doesn't seem fair,' God is there, carrying out His provendential plan exactly as He pre-arranged it. He keeps His Word." ~Charles R. Swindoll~

John 14:6 says, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life". When He gives us promises in His Word, we can be confident that He will fulfill them because He can't go against who He is. But, we also must remember there are parts to those promises that are our responsibility to fulfill as well.

Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest". We must come. We can't expect God to chase us down, eliminate our distractions, tie us down to a chair, force His Word down our throats, and make us commune with Him in prayer. We must do those things ourselves and He will meet us in that place.

Another example is in 1 Peter 5:6 where it says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time". Our responsibility is to humble ourselves. It doesn't say God is going to let us live your life how we want and then He will lift us up. No, we carry equal responsibility  to that promise. And, the end of the verse must be recognized as well, "and He may lift you up in due time". It doesn't say "immediately". Patience is required.

"How can a loving God allow such a terrible thing to happen?"

We live in a fallen world. Our lives are never going to be perfect here. With the entrance of sin, came pain, illness, heartache, and death. We can't avoid it, and it is not because God is judging us or abandoning us that we experience the discomforts of this earth. Man chose disobedience, and in choosing it, chose death and sorrow.  We need to focus on the fact that God is loving and keep our eyes on the evidences of that. He has granted great mercy and grace upon us to have not wiped us all off the planet to start over again. He has allowed us all a second chance. A chance to come back to Him and a chance to restore our broken relationship with Him.

Now to the tough question,

"Why me, God?"

I've been through a lot, and at one point, that was my question. I didn't understand. I had tried so hard to love God with everything, to serve Him willingly, to make Him the center of my life, and then it hit hard, the betrayal and abandonment of those I thought were my friends, the health issues, and attack after attack from the enemy. I would cry out to Him, "Why, Father? Have I not loved You enough? What did I do to receive this?" I would ask everything and during that time, I can't say I ever got a clear, defined answer to any of my questions. In fact, looking back, I think I was only able to cling to Him for dear life and hope the storm would soon be over (sometimes, that may be the best we can do). Now, the storm has calmed, although not completely over, and I have been thinking a lot about what I've had to face.

I would not wish for anyone to go through a a dark period like I did, a time of doubt, struggle, pain, loss, or sorrow, but because I have faced darkness of my own, I can confidently say that there is hope and there is a way to make it through. That hope and that strength is my God. Without Him, I wouldn't have made it to where I am right now. I can't imagine anyone trying to keep their head above water without hope and God's supernatural strength.

So, why me? I can't give a definite reason why because I think that is still unfolding in my life (maybe I'll never know this side of Heaven). But, I do know He has a plan to fulfill. I may not ever know why God chose to allow or continues to allow me to go through trials, but He has a purpose in it all. I believe because of what I have experienced, I have opportunities open that otherwise were not available to me. I have an understanding of many people that before were a mystery. I also have a strength in my relationship with Him because of what we went through together.

The more time I spend in the study of His Word and in His presence, the more I come to realize the question should not be "Why me?", but instead,

"Why NOT me?"

I have not come to this point because of my own strength and immense ability to overcome, but because of His. He has shown me that I can face great tribulation  and He will be with me and He will be my strength. Though it may have seemed as if He was distant during my time of darkness, I can see now that He was right there beside me.

I never expect this life to get easy. I may face even darker times than I already have, but I will rest in Him and the knowledge that He is my satisfaction, security, and sufficiency. He has chosen me for a specific plan, and no matter how hard it gets, I will seek to praise and glorify His name. Through happiness or sorrow, weakness or strength, health or illness, and betrayal or faithfulness, I will follow Him. He is worthy to be praised even in the storm.

Psalm 31 is particularly encouraging to me.

¹ In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
       let me never be put to shame;
       deliver me in your righteousness.

 ² Turn your ear to me,
       come quickly to my rescue;
       be my rock of refuge,
       a strong fortress to save me.

 ³ Since you are my rock and my fortress,
       for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

 ⁴ Free me from the trap that is set for me,
       for you are my refuge.

 ⁵ Into your hands I commit my spirit;
       redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.

 ⁶ I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
       I trust in the LORD.

 ⁷ I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
       for you saw my affliction
       and knew the anguish of my soul.

 ⁸ You have not handed me over to the enemy
       but have set my feet in a spacious place.

 ⁹ Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
       my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
       my soul and my body with grief.

 ¹⁰ My life is consumed by anguish
       and my years by groaning;
       my strength fails because of my affliction, ^[a]
       and my bones grow weak.

 ¹¹ Because of all my enemies,
       I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
       I am a dread to my friends—
       those who see me on the street flee from me.

 ¹² I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
       I have become like broken pottery.

 ¹³ For I hear the slander of many;
       there is terror on every side;
       they conspire against me
       and plot to take my life.

 ¹⁴ But I trust in you, O LORD;
       I say, "You are my God."

 ¹⁵ My times are in your hands;
       deliver me from my enemies
       and from those who pursue me.

 ¹⁶ Let your face shine on your servant;
       save me in your unfailing love.

 ¹⁷ Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
       for I have cried out to you;
       but let the wicked be put to shame
       and lie silent in the grave. ^[b]

 ¹⁸ Let their lying lips be silenced,
       for with pride and contempt
       they speak arrogantly against the righteous.

 ¹⁹ How great is your goodness,
       which you have stored up for those who fear you,
       which you bestow in the sight of men
       on those who take refuge in you.

 ²⁰ In the shelter of your presence you hide them
       from the intrigues of men;
       in your dwelling you keep them safe
       from accusing tongues.

 ²¹ Praise be to the LORD,
       for he showed his wonderful love to me
       when I was in a besieged city.

 ²² In my alarm I said,
       "I am cut off from your sight!"
       Yet you heard my cry for mercy
       when I called to you for help.

 ²³ Love the LORD, all his saints!
       The LORD preserves the faithful,
       but the proud he pays back in full.

 ²⁴ Be strong and take heart,
       all you who hope in the LORD.

"I Can't Do This Anymore!"

"I can't do this anymore!"

That statement has been my most often quoted-to-self statement. And, it's quite true. Without Christ, I cannot do this, much less do this anymore. 

I have had quite a summer. I had looked forward to a "break", whatever that means for me, but between work and still-unresolved health issues, it has been anything but a break. By the end of the school year, I was physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally drained and ready to spend my summer in bed. However, that idea was not based upon reality. So, I went on the job hunt, and God faithfully provided jobs for me (one as a nanny, and one in a daycare with infants).

I knew it was going to be hard to take on two jobs, but I didn't remember just how hard it would be. Working with kids can be very rewarding, but when you don't have much energy output to begin with, it can be quite challenging. I have almost made it to the end though. I have about 3 more weeks of work before school will start back up.

This entire summer, I have been telling myself over and over again of my inability to continue on. I think this self talk has occurred daily. Even so, whenever I have made that statement, "I can't do this anymore!" I hear that still, small voice say, "Exactly!" and I am reminded that I am not going to be able to do this on my own strength. It is essential that I abide constantly in Him. I am not in this alone, and I most certainly cannot do this alone. I guess that is the point He has been making ALL summer and it has taken me this long to get it.   

'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

~2 Corinthians 12:9~

I am going to be replacing my negative self-talk with this verse. I know it is something that is going to continue to be necessary not only through this summer, but also throughout the school year and after that...every day of my life. I'm so thankful that my loving Father has not left me to do this by myself. Life is most certainly not always easy, but living life with Him by my side gives me the power to make it through every trial and weakness.

Lukewarm and Loving It- Francis Chan

This will take a few minutes to listen to, but it's quite convicting. I really have enjoyed hearing Francis Chan's messages because of his obvious faith, love, and desire to live 100% sold out for Christ.

He Is With You

I heard this song the other day on the radio. How encouraging!
(Remember to turn the music off on the sidebar.)

 

There's a time to live
And a time to die
There's a time to laugh
And a time to cry
There's a time for war
And a time for peace
There's a hand to hold
In the worst of these
In the worst of these

He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can't even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn't kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby's gone
And your house is still and your heart's a stone
Cryin' God, what'd you do that for?
He is with you

There's a time for yes
And a time for no
There's a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There's a time to run
And a time to face it
There is love to see you
Through all of this

He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don't know you anymore
And he is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don't know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning
The morning light

He is with you when your kids are grown
When there's too much space and you feel alone
And you're worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes he is with you when you've given up
On ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you

When nothing else is left
And you take you final breath
He is with you

Miracle of Life

This story brought tears to my eyes and brings proof yet again to the fact that our God is greater than anything perceived as humanly impossible. 

Better Than a Hallelujah

(Remember to turn off music on the sidebar.)

God loves a lullaby

In a mother's tears in the dead of night

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

God loves the drunkard's cry

The soldier's plea not to let him die

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful, the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah

The woman holding on for life

The dying man giving up the fight

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

The tears of shame for what's been done

The silence when the words won't come

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful, the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing

Better than a choir singing out, singing out

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful, the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah