Many times as Christians we tend to question God when we face trials and difficulties. We become weary, worn down, and are ready to throw in the towel. We might ask Him,
"Don't you love me?"
"How can a loving God allow such a terrible thing to happen?"
"Why me, Lord?"
It may be hard for us to think of God as loving and caring when He "allowed" the pain. However, we need to step back and remind ourselves what is true.
"Don't you love me?"
Yes, He does. God loves His children immensely. Picture the most beautiful example of love we have on this earth whether it be a parent's love for a child or a husband's or wife's love for a spouse, and that does not even begin to scratch the surface of His love. We cannot fathom it in our human, finite minds. He is love, so there is no possible way anything He does can be anything other than love. Go to the Bible, write down every verse that describes His love for His children, and focus upon those when filled with doubt and despair.
Also, His promises are always true. As with love, He is truth.
"God never forgets anything He promises. That's right...never. God's agenda continue to unfold right on schedule, even when there is not a shred of evidence that He remembers. Even when the most extreme events transpire and 'life just doesn't seem fair,' God is there, carrying out His provendential plan exactly as He pre-arranged it. He keeps His Word." ~Charles R. Swindoll~
John 14:6 says, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life". When He gives us promises in His Word, we can be confident that He will fulfill them because He can't go against who He is. But, we also must remember there are parts to those promises that are our responsibility to fulfill as well.
Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest". We must come. We can't expect God to chase us down, eliminate our distractions, tie us down to a chair, force His Word down our throats, and make us commune with Him in prayer. We must do those things ourselves and He will meet us in that place.
Another example is in 1 Peter 5:6 where it says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time". Our responsibility is to humble ourselves. It doesn't say God is going to let us live your life how we want and then He will lift us up. No, we carry equal responsibility to that promise. And, the end of the verse must be recognized as well, "and He may lift you up in due time". It doesn't say "immediately". Patience is required.
"How can a loving God allow such a terrible thing to happen?"
We live in a fallen world. Our lives are never going to be perfect here. With the entrance of sin, came pain, illness, heartache, and death. We can't avoid it, and it is not because God is judging us or abandoning us that we experience the discomforts of this earth. Man chose disobedience, and in choosing it, chose death and sorrow. We need to focus on the fact that God is loving and keep our eyes on the evidences of that. He has granted great mercy and grace upon us to have not wiped us all off the planet to start over again. He has allowed us all a second chance. A chance to come back to Him and a chance to restore our broken relationship with Him.
Now to the tough question,
"Why me, God?"
I've been through a lot, and at one point, that was my question. I didn't understand. I had tried so hard to love God with everything, to serve Him willingly, to make Him the center of my life, and then it hit hard, the betrayal and abandonment of those I thought were my friends, the health issues, and attack after attack from the enemy. I would cry out to Him, "Why, Father? Have I not loved You enough? What did I do to receive this?" I would ask everything and during that time, I can't say I ever got a clear, defined answer to any of my questions. In fact, looking back, I think I was only able to cling to Him for dear life and hope the storm would soon be over (sometimes, that may be the best we can do). Now, the storm has calmed, although not completely over, and I have been thinking a lot about what I've had to face.
I would not wish for anyone to go through a a dark period like I did, a time of doubt, struggle, pain, loss, or sorrow, but because I have faced darkness of my own, I can confidently say that there is hope and there is a way to make it through. That hope and that strength is my God. Without Him, I wouldn't have made it to where I am right now. I can't imagine anyone trying to keep their head above water without hope and God's supernatural strength.
So, why me? I can't give a definite reason why because I think that is still unfolding in my life (maybe I'll never know this side of Heaven). But, I do know He has a plan to fulfill. I may not ever know why God chose to allow or continues to allow me to go through trials, but He has a purpose in it all. I believe because of what I have experienced, I have opportunities open that otherwise were not available to me. I have an understanding of many people that before were a mystery. I also have a strength in my relationship with Him because of what we went through together.
The more time I spend in the study of His Word and in His presence, the more I come to realize the question should not be "Why me?", but instead,
"Why NOT me?"
I have not come to this point because of my own strength and immense ability to overcome, but because of His. He has shown me that I can face great tribulation and He will be with me and He will be my strength. Though it may have seemed as if He was distant during my time of darkness, I can see now that He was right there beside me.
I never expect this life to get easy. I may face even darker times than I already have, but I will rest in Him and the knowledge that He is my satisfaction, security, and sufficiency. He has chosen me for a specific plan, and no matter how hard it gets, I will seek to praise and glorify His name. Through happiness or sorrow, weakness or strength, health or illness, and betrayal or faithfulness, I will follow Him. He is worthy to be praised even in the storm.
Psalm 31 is particularly encouraging to me.
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction, [a]
and my bones grow weak.11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.13 For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave. [b]18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.19 How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.22 In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
