Balance Beam- Francis Chan

Why NOT me?

I'm writing this to be an encouragement and help to those who may be struggling. This is not to say that I have it all together or figured out, but these are some insights I have gleaned through my experiences over the years. 


Many times as Christians we tend to question God when we face trials and difficulties. We become weary, worn down, and are ready to throw in the towel. We might ask Him,


"Don't you love me?" 

"How can a loving God allow such a terrible thing to happen?"

"Why me, Lord?"  


It may be hard for us to think of God as loving and caring when He "allowed" the pain. However, we need to step back and remind ourselves what is true. 

"Don't you love me?" 

Yes, He does. God loves His children immensely. Picture the most beautiful example of love we have on this earth whether it be a parent's love for a child or a husband's or wife's love for a spouse, and that does not even begin to scratch the surface of His love. We cannot fathom it in our human, finite minds. He is love, so there is no possible way anything He does can be anything other than love. Go to the Bible, write down every verse that describes His love for His children, and focus upon those when filled with doubt and despair.

Also, His promises are always true. As with love, He is truth.

"God never forgets anything He promises. That's right...never. God's agenda continue to unfold right on schedule, even when there is not a shred of evidence that He remembers. Even when the most extreme events transpire and 'life just doesn't seem fair,' God is there, carrying out His provendential plan exactly as He pre-arranged it. He keeps His Word." ~Charles R. Swindoll~

John 14:6 says, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life". When He gives us promises in His Word, we can be confident that He will fulfill them because He can't go against who He is. But, we also must remember there are parts to those promises that are our responsibility to fulfill as well.

Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest". We must come. We can't expect God to chase us down, eliminate our distractions, tie us down to a chair, force His Word down our throats, and make us commune with Him in prayer. We must do those things ourselves and He will meet us in that place.

Another example is in 1 Peter 5:6 where it says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time". Our responsibility is to humble ourselves. It doesn't say God is going to let us live your life how we want and then He will lift us up. No, we carry equal responsibility  to that promise. And, the end of the verse must be recognized as well, "and He may lift you up in due time". It doesn't say "immediately". Patience is required.

"How can a loving God allow such a terrible thing to happen?"

We live in a fallen world. Our lives are never going to be perfect here. With the entrance of sin, came pain, illness, heartache, and death. We can't avoid it, and it is not because God is judging us or abandoning us that we experience the discomforts of this earth. Man chose disobedience, and in choosing it, chose death and sorrow.  We need to focus on the fact that God is loving and keep our eyes on the evidences of that. He has granted great mercy and grace upon us to have not wiped us all off the planet to start over again. He has allowed us all a second chance. A chance to come back to Him and a chance to restore our broken relationship with Him.

Now to the tough question,

"Why me, God?"

I've been through a lot, and at one point, that was my question. I didn't understand. I had tried so hard to love God with everything, to serve Him willingly, to make Him the center of my life, and then it hit hard, the betrayal and abandonment of those I thought were my friends, the health issues, and attack after attack from the enemy. I would cry out to Him, "Why, Father? Have I not loved You enough? What did I do to receive this?" I would ask everything and during that time, I can't say I ever got a clear, defined answer to any of my questions. In fact, looking back, I think I was only able to cling to Him for dear life and hope the storm would soon be over (sometimes, that may be the best we can do). Now, the storm has calmed, although not completely over, and I have been thinking a lot about what I've had to face.

I would not wish for anyone to go through a a dark period like I did, a time of doubt, struggle, pain, loss, or sorrow, but because I have faced darkness of my own, I can confidently say that there is hope and there is a way to make it through. That hope and that strength is my God. Without Him, I wouldn't have made it to where I am right now. I can't imagine anyone trying to keep their head above water without hope and God's supernatural strength.

So, why me? I can't give a definite reason why because I think that is still unfolding in my life (maybe I'll never know this side of Heaven). But, I do know He has a plan to fulfill. I may not ever know why God chose to allow or continues to allow me to go through trials, but He has a purpose in it all. I believe because of what I have experienced, I have opportunities open that otherwise were not available to me. I have an understanding of many people that before were a mystery. I also have a strength in my relationship with Him because of what we went through together.

The more time I spend in the study of His Word and in His presence, the more I come to realize the question should not be "Why me?", but instead,

"Why NOT me?"

I have not come to this point because of my own strength and immense ability to overcome, but because of His. He has shown me that I can face great tribulation  and He will be with me and He will be my strength. Though it may have seemed as if He was distant during my time of darkness, I can see now that He was right there beside me.

I never expect this life to get easy. I may face even darker times than I already have, but I will rest in Him and the knowledge that He is my satisfaction, security, and sufficiency. He has chosen me for a specific plan, and no matter how hard it gets, I will seek to praise and glorify His name. Through happiness or sorrow, weakness or strength, health or illness, and betrayal or faithfulness, I will follow Him. He is worthy to be praised even in the storm.

Psalm 31 is particularly encouraging to me.

¹ In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
       let me never be put to shame;
       deliver me in your righteousness.

 ² Turn your ear to me,
       come quickly to my rescue;
       be my rock of refuge,
       a strong fortress to save me.

 ³ Since you are my rock and my fortress,
       for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

 ⁴ Free me from the trap that is set for me,
       for you are my refuge.

 ⁵ Into your hands I commit my spirit;
       redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.

 ⁶ I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
       I trust in the LORD.

 ⁷ I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
       for you saw my affliction
       and knew the anguish of my soul.

 ⁸ You have not handed me over to the enemy
       but have set my feet in a spacious place.

 ⁹ Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
       my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
       my soul and my body with grief.

 ¹⁰ My life is consumed by anguish
       and my years by groaning;
       my strength fails because of my affliction, ^[a]
       and my bones grow weak.

 ¹¹ Because of all my enemies,
       I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
       I am a dread to my friends—
       those who see me on the street flee from me.

 ¹² I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
       I have become like broken pottery.

 ¹³ For I hear the slander of many;
       there is terror on every side;
       they conspire against me
       and plot to take my life.

 ¹⁴ But I trust in you, O LORD;
       I say, "You are my God."

 ¹⁵ My times are in your hands;
       deliver me from my enemies
       and from those who pursue me.

 ¹⁶ Let your face shine on your servant;
       save me in your unfailing love.

 ¹⁷ Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
       for I have cried out to you;
       but let the wicked be put to shame
       and lie silent in the grave. ^[b]

 ¹⁸ Let their lying lips be silenced,
       for with pride and contempt
       they speak arrogantly against the righteous.

 ¹⁹ How great is your goodness,
       which you have stored up for those who fear you,
       which you bestow in the sight of men
       on those who take refuge in you.

 ²⁰ In the shelter of your presence you hide them
       from the intrigues of men;
       in your dwelling you keep them safe
       from accusing tongues.

 ²¹ Praise be to the LORD,
       for he showed his wonderful love to me
       when I was in a besieged city.

 ²² In my alarm I said,
       "I am cut off from your sight!"
       Yet you heard my cry for mercy
       when I called to you for help.

 ²³ Love the LORD, all his saints!
       The LORD preserves the faithful,
       but the proud he pays back in full.

 ²⁴ Be strong and take heart,
       all you who hope in the LORD.

"I Can't Do This Anymore!"

"I can't do this anymore!"

That statement has been my most often quoted-to-self statement. And, it's quite true. Without Christ, I cannot do this, much less do this anymore. 

I have had quite a summer. I had looked forward to a "break", whatever that means for me, but between work and still-unresolved health issues, it has been anything but a break. By the end of the school year, I was physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally drained and ready to spend my summer in bed. However, that idea was not based upon reality. So, I went on the job hunt, and God faithfully provided jobs for me (one as a nanny, and one in a daycare with infants).

I knew it was going to be hard to take on two jobs, but I didn't remember just how hard it would be. Working with kids can be very rewarding, but when you don't have much energy output to begin with, it can be quite challenging. I have almost made it to the end though. I have about 3 more weeks of work before school will start back up.

This entire summer, I have been telling myself over and over again of my inability to continue on. I think this self talk has occurred daily. Even so, whenever I have made that statement, "I can't do this anymore!" I hear that still, small voice say, "Exactly!" and I am reminded that I am not going to be able to do this on my own strength. It is essential that I abide constantly in Him. I am not in this alone, and I most certainly cannot do this alone. I guess that is the point He has been making ALL summer and it has taken me this long to get it.   

'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

~2 Corinthians 12:9~

I am going to be replacing my negative self-talk with this verse. I know it is something that is going to continue to be necessary not only through this summer, but also throughout the school year and after that...every day of my life. I'm so thankful that my loving Father has not left me to do this by myself. Life is most certainly not always easy, but living life with Him by my side gives me the power to make it through every trial and weakness.

Lukewarm and Loving It- Francis Chan

This will take a few minutes to listen to, but it's quite convicting. I really have enjoyed hearing Francis Chan's messages because of his obvious faith, love, and desire to live 100% sold out for Christ.

He Is With You

I heard this song the other day on the radio. How encouraging!
(Remember to turn the music off on the sidebar.)

 

There's a time to live
And a time to die
There's a time to laugh
And a time to cry
There's a time for war
And a time for peace
There's a hand to hold
In the worst of these
In the worst of these

He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can't even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn't kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby's gone
And your house is still and your heart's a stone
Cryin' God, what'd you do that for?
He is with you

There's a time for yes
And a time for no
There's a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There's a time to run
And a time to face it
There is love to see you
Through all of this

He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don't know you anymore
And he is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don't know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning
The morning light

He is with you when your kids are grown
When there's too much space and you feel alone
And you're worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes he is with you when you've given up
On ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you

When nothing else is left
And you take you final breath
He is with you

Dame Tus Ojos

I found this song shortly before I came here to Costa Rica. I absolutely love it. It has become my prayer each day. I am posting the English translation as well for those of you who don't speak Spanish. :) (Remember to turn the music off on the sidebar before playing.)

Trust

"Live trusting God, don't die trusting man."

~Dr. David Platt~

What Makes Christmas Meaningful?

Matthew 5:3-12 (The Message)

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

~Jesus~

In the Quietness of the Morning

I happened to wake up at 3:30 this morning. I desperately wanted to go back to sleep since I had only slept for 5 hours, but I guess God thought differently. As I lay there longing to fall asleep, I began to sense God's Spirit nudging me. So, I began to pray. As I did, I sensed God inviting me to spend some time with Him.

I'm ashamed to say that recently I have not been very attentive to my time with God in His Word and in prayer. I've been going through routines and the motions, but I have been pushing my Father out. Why? I have no idea. Maybe the physical never ending tiredness wore me down so much I didn't think I could put energy into one more thing. Whatever the reason, I have been able to tell the difference in my life. My days have been dragging and hard. I know I have been ignoring that call from Him. I would say to myself, "I just don't have the time, energy, and focus". But I have missed Him. I've disregarded those conversations with Him as I'm driving and instead have turned the radio on to drown out the silence. I've pushed aside the precious times sitting and learning from His Word and instead have filled those moments with aimless internet surfing. I've drifted away from the habit of sharing my life with Him and instead have closed up and acted as if He doesn't know what's inside. My focus has gone away because everywhere I look, I see Him and think about Him. So, I block everything out so I don't have to think. I'm a Believer, there is no doubt about that, but why have I done this? I don't believe it happened by me deciding I wanted to do it. It happened because I didn't guard myself. I allowed things to slowly creep in and before I knew it I was miles away from Him. So, this morning, at 4 o'clock, He began once again to call He was calling for me to come back. This time I listened.

After some time in prayer, I sat down and began to read in Matthew. I chose Matthew because I have been reading a series of books called The A.D. Chronicles. It is several stories of people living in Jesus' day (beggars, cripples, lepers, shepherds, great rulers, and Pharisees). While fictional, it has stirred in me the desire to know Him, really know Him. I believe that many things I've thought of Christ are flat out wrong. It's time for me to find out for myself who He is. So, Matthew it was and He taught me so much. I saw things I've never seen before and it has strengthened me once more. The peacefulness of the morning was beautiful. I think I can do this thing called life, the despair is gone. I've come running back to Him. It will take a while to get back to where I was, but I'm getting there. I think I can keep going now, because this time, I'm not alone (Maybe I'll start blogging a little more regularly, too).

Miracle Baby, Miracle Mother

This family's tremdous faith is incredible. Many people would have aborted in an instant to save the mother's life, but this couple who valued life and knew that God would take care of everyone, did not. God can do anything, even the medically "impossible". Here is the story.

Discipleship

There are no crown wearers in heaven, who were not cross bearers on earth.

~C.H. Spurgeon~

The God of This City

This song was sung by Chris Tomlin at The Passion Conference I attended this weekend. It was a very encouraging and uplifting weekend, just what I needed right now in this period of my life. I've been feeling very much as if I am in a holding pattern in the past few months. Everything from the songs to the speakers reminded me what I already know to be the truth, that I am not waiting for anything. My call to the lost is each and every day no matter where I am or what I am doing. It doesn't have to be some "great" or "huge" thing (which is in man's eyes, not God's). The little things matter and we have one call. To glorify the God of this city and the Lord of this nation. There are greater things yet to come and greater things yet to be done in this city. Let's serve the Lord in accomplishing His wonderful plan. (Don't forget to turn off the playlist on the sidebar.)

My God Sees My Needs

(I thought I would combine a couple of articles and some Scripture on this one since they all go together so well. It works best to read the articles as you come to the link.)

Boundless.org has been such an encouragement to me. They recently posted this article.
Here are some Scipture verses that have also been reiterated over and over to me recently (All from The Message translation).

Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better? ~Matthew 7:7-11

You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus~ Phil. 4:19

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.~Matt. 6:33-34

God is confirming over and over again that I have no reason to worry about money or if I'll be provided for. Even now, when I have so many unexpected expenses pop up each month, there's always money to cover them. (How? I have no idea!) I read a guest post on Crystal's blog today called, Trusting God For Provision.
It's so neat to see how everything I'm reading blends together so wonderfully and only strengthens my faith in my God. My God who sees all my needs, big and small, will provide for them all.

Spiritual Warfare

God has appointed this whole life to be all as a race or a battle; the state of rest, wherein we shall be so out of danger as to have no need of watching and fighting, is for another world.

~Jonathan Edwards~

Perseverance

Your life is short, your duties many, your assistance great, and your reward sure; therefore faint not, hold on and hold up, in ways of well-doing, and heaven shall make amends for all.

~Thomas Brooks~

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island. ~John Donne~

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. God has made relationships because they are so very important. In Nathan Zacharias' article on Boundless Webzine, he says this,

We're not meant to go through this life alone. As Marcus states at the end of the movie, "you need backup." God uses friendships to help bring happiness when all seems right, and to help hold us up when all seems wrong. Certainly, there are risks involved. Will was right; if you open yourself up enough to where people can make you happy, then they can make you unhappy too.

None of us is perfect, and friends are likely to let you down from time to time. And sometimes a person you thought was your friend may even betray you in a very painful way. Yes, letting someone in to your life can open the door to heartache. But Marcus was right too; living a life where you keep everyone at arm's length and avoid caring about anyone other than yourself causes you to miss out on one of the greatest sources of happiness.

(Read the whole article here- it'll probably make a little more sense :) )

The American lifestyle is not extremely conducive to close and open relationships inside families and much less outside of families. We don't like to rely on others, ask for help, reach out of our comfort zones, or sacrifice our precious time, but relationships are the entire reason we weren't zapped up to Heaven the moment we placed our trust in Jesus Christ. Relationships are the only way we can reach the lost, hurting world. Religiousness doesn't endear us to anyone, but when we take time and energy and invest ourselves in others' lives, that is when the opportunities present themselves to talk about the One we are here to glorify. Let's not live by rules and regulations, but by relationships (which by the way, gives us the desire to honor with obedience to rules and regulations) with the pain filled world and with our God. Show your care. Show your love. Show the world who Christ is.

Yes, Lord

I can't remember where I originally got this, but I have had it posted on my bulletin board for years. It's funny how when you see something so often, you eventually don't pay very much attention to it anymore. But I saw it today and reread it. It was absolutely a wonderful reminder. I, for one, am going to try to say "Yes, Lord" a whole lot more often than "No, Lord, I have a better idea," or, "No, Lord, really you can't be serious." I encourage you to do the same. No matter what the circumstances, I am so glad that God never, ever, ever changes.

Yes, Lord, I will trust in You even in the dark.
Yes, Lord, I will believe Your Word even when I feel confused.
Yes, Lord, I will obey what I know You are asking me to do.
Yes, Lord, I will continue to commit my every step to You.
Yes, Lord, I will continue to grow in spiritual understanding.

The Power of Friends

Ecclesiates 4:9-12

It's better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there's no one to help, tough!

Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

By yourself you're unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.

Yes, we very much need each other. God didn't make mankind to be loners. He created the church body for our good. We all work as a unit, and none of us can function properly without the other parts. Don't ever neglect friendships and relationships, they are what every aspect of life is truly about. Remember, "With a friend you can face the worst."

The Way of Love

1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Not exactly a typical American (emotionally driven) definition of love, is it? Notice that 1 Corinthians 13 never once mentions the emotional accompaniment to love. Let's remember what God says love is this Valentines Day.